Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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