Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
