dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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