perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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