I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
