Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
