Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
