They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
