I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
