Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
