So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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