I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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