If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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