if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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