so let's talk penis.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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