Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
