Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize