I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
