im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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