I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize