Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
