He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
