sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
