Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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