I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
