Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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