Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
