I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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