He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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