so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
operation harelip BJ is a go
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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