just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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