I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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