Everything about him screamed your future.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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