Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
