what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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