Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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