Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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