I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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