: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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