I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
