I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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