he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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