Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
