ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
