Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
