No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
