So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
