OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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