Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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