She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
