No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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