we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize