Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
