I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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