thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize