I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
