Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
