Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
