I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
