it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
