people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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