I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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