i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
