Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize