I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
