Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize