We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
