I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
