Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
